Such sorrow & compassion I feel...

It's been a while since my last post. Before our Thanksgiving break from school I was decorating classrooms & setting things up with my 3 classes to make sure all was set for their feast. My family has begun a new tradition of going on vacation for Thanksgiving as we have no family close enough to us to celebrate. Our vacation was to begin 2 days before the children were off from school, which is why I needed to check & re-check that all my classrooms were set & ready to go.

We thoroughly enjoyed our vacation & are looking forward to next year. We had our Thanksgiving feast at Medieval Times. It was an absolute blast! The children thought that the best part of dinner was being able to use their hands to eat. Our youngest child received a picture from the Princess because our child wrote & read a special letter to the Princess & our middle child caught the flower that our Knight threw into the audience. Our oldest was ecstatic at all the testosterone filled events that unfolded before him. Ruh, ruh, ruh! Oh the memories our children will recant to their children.

On a super sour note, right before we left for vacation, we found out that one of our children had been molested/raped by a friend (older & larger in stature). I was shocked, angered & wanted to harm this person, but this person is also...still...a child. It took everything I had within me to stay calm, sit them both down, & calmly ask my child & the perpetrator, questions about what had happened. This other child did not deny anything & admitted to the things my child said was forced on them. When I was done asking questions I felt numb. I took this child home & waited for my husband to come home so we could decide where to go from here.

We chose to speak to our school counsellor & our school's family advocate. Which took us down the path of meeting with our local DHR & then an interview with a Crisis Counsellor. We've been given a family counsellor to help us deal with this & were told that the other child will possibly go to a treatment center to help find out what took them down this path (which is what we hoped would happen. As we don't feel this other child is a criminal, but that something must have happened to that child to make them do this to others. Apparently, my child isn't the only one this other child has molested.)

I feel such sorrow for my child that I was unable to see this coming & stop it before it happened. I also feel sorrow & compassion for this other child's family & for the child as they have to deal with their child being taken from them. I pray we all find strength to move forward & heal mind, body & soul.

I am horrified

I am sick & horrified to find out that one of my son's friends has been trying to make my son do "it" when they get together for play dates.  They are children....babies still...at least my son is...

My son tells me that this boy didn't get in him, but that he is always trying to make him do "it", but he tells him over & over "NO!"  My son said that this boy told him that he does "it" with all of his friends.

I am thankful that I have talked with my children about what bad touch is & that they have the right to say "no". That their bodies belong to them & no one is aloud to make them do stuff. And, I am proud that my son had the courage to come & tell me while this boy was here...so proud.

I talked with this boy about what he's tried to make my son do, that their bodies may make them feel like they are ready to try something, but that their brains & emotions are not ready to handle what comes with this "act". I also warned him that there are parents that will call the police & have him arrested because it is against the law to force yourself on someone. I told him I would not have him over to the house anymore & took him home.

I didn't tell his parents & that's what sickens me & I feel like I failed my son. I didn't keep him safe. This happened in my own home & most likely at his house as well & I am just finding out about it. Did I miss signs? My son is very intelligent, but very immature. This seems like it's not a big deal to him. I feel like I need to impress on my children, more, the severity of this situation. But right now I want him to know how proud I am that he did the "right thing" in telling me about it right away.

I am hurt & angry, proud & afraid. I want to throw this under the rug & not say a word & I want to shout it out to everyone to open your eyes & minds to what others....& ourselves...are capable of...right under our own noses.